yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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