i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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