I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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