Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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