***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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