I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Fuck appropriateness.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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