I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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