get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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