think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
