Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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