Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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