The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize