He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
