Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
