She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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