his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
