Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
