Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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