is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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