Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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