I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
