Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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