Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
