My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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