This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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