I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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