I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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