I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
