he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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