currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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