Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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