She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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