that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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