Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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