remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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