Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize