remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
