Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
