so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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