Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
