I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
