I cut my penus on the lid.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
