So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
