We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
