i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
