sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
