On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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