how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
