I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
