I wish I could teleport
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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