escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
