Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
