ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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