Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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