My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The feeling are messing with the penis
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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