Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
